Not Quite Good Enough
by Servant of Elizabeth
Summary: No matter how much I want her to look at me, I don't think I'll ever be good enough for her to notice me. Still...sometimes I just can't help but try. Onesided Kaede x Mana. Updates soon to come.
1. Coming Up Short

**Faster**

I've always been faster than you Mana-sama, and I'll probably always be. Do you know that I've always let you catch me though?

**Smarter**

I may be Baka Blue, and I may be a girl from the mountains who doesn't know a calculator from a cell phone, but Mana-sama has always fallen for my traps, right?

**Stronger**

Mana-sama has never beaten me. Even though I haven't beaten her either, I've never been the one to start the fight; that means I'm the stronger one, right?

**Friendlier**

Mana-sama doesn't like to talk to people very much, ne? She scares the twins sometimes with her eyes; like she's going to eat them if they get too close.

**Prettier**

Mana-sama is exotic, but I'm more feminine. Mana-sama must be the only girl in Mahora who is less of a girl than I am; we're even worse than Setsuna.

**Braver**

Mana-sama never fights battles she doesn't know she'll win. What's the point of getting so strong if you never fight someone who might beat you? Does that mean she thinks I'm the weak one?

**Guiltier**

Mana-sama is a foreigner; I am an exile.

**Lonelier**

Mana-sama wants to be alone because she loves the silence. I'm always lonely because she doesn't want to talk to me.

**Colder**

Mana-sama may be a professional, but I'm a much better liar. Wearing this smile hurts me more than she'll ever know.

**Bloodier**

Mana-sama is always so far away when she pulls the trigger. She doesn't know what it's like to have to clean off a dirtied knife or retrieve a dart from a fallen opponent.

**Softer**

How is it that even with so many bruises and scars, I'm so soft, while Mana-sama's skin is like ice?

**Warmer**

My eyes make people think I'm at peace, and make the twins give me silly nicknames. Mana-sama's eyes make people want to run to Misora and confess their every sin.

**Holier**

I've never killed a man for money. I've never tried to hurt a child. I've never fought the law, and I've never betrayed my friends. Mana-sama has done all of this, and tried to do it all to me.

**Cleaner**

Mana-sama's weapons are horrible smoking steel. Mine are clean and cold and made for the blood to roll off. Does Mana-sama scrub at her body and bullet to try to rid away the men she's killed?

**Manlier**

I admit that Mana-sama looks much better than me in a dress. I hope she never learns I've said that.

**Calmer**

For all my inner turmoil, I can hide it all. Even the children on the street can tell that Mana-sama isn't in the mood to talk, even though she'd never yell at them.

**Drunker**

Mana-sama is always trying to look younger to save money. I'm sure she's never used her looks to try and get drunk, even if it was only once…

**Worldlier**

Mana-sama has traveled everywhere, and fought in more conflicts than I can write in a notebook. Will the people she's met remember her name like they remembered mine?

**Bolder**

Mana-sama is always covering herself up in the bath; what're you so afraid of? You're only making the twins try harder to mess with you.

**Needier**

Mana-sama just needs her guns; I need to hear someone else breathing just to fall asleep.

**Hungrier**

Mana-sama never eats too much. That's why she's never strong enough to defeat me, and that's why she's always so easy to outrun.

**Crazier**

Mana-sama is always so rational and methodical. I'd much rather jump from the cliff and look for something to land on while I'm falling. It's always more fun that way.

**Funnier**

Mana-sama has no sense of humor. I may be a baka, but at least I'm fun at the same time.

**Sexier**

Say what you like, Mana-sama – nobody wants to be with the scariest girl in the school. Well, except maybe one, but she's not quite brave enough either.

**Safer**

I never leave people behind, like Mana-sama. Mana-sama is the perfect soldier, but I'd much rather be the perfect shield, no?

**Hastier**

Mana-sama is too slow. Sometimes when something needs to be done, people like Sessha need to run in like idiots.

**Poorer**

Why does Mana-sama need all of that money? Why wouldn't you just buy the twins ice cream and tell them that it's okay, they don't need to pay you back?

**Greedier**

I can be selfless as I want; I can give up every worldly possession I have, but it doesn't stop me from wanting everything I can't have.

**Closer**

The closest I'll ever be to Mana-sama is fighting her, trying to wrestle the gun from her hand. Mana-sama, become stronger so you can come and catch me!

**Lesser**

All of the things I can do better than Mana-sama; she is better than me at everything else. I can never capture Mana-sama, and so she'll never belong to me.

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, it's sad, but I think I'll add a new chapter in the near future. I'm not sure whether or not it should be from Kaede's point of view or not...I'll think about it. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!


	2. Watching You Fail

_Thanks so much for the reviews and favorites everyone. After making this, I pretty much left it alone as a oneshot. However, after re-reading it, I decided that this would become a collection of oneshots, and that I'd at least add a chapter from Mana's perspective. Read, Review, and Enjoy!_

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**Faster**

I hate working with other people – all they ever do is slow me down. If you're so fast, so good at what you do, then why do you slow down and walk with them?

**Smarter**

You're an idiot sometimes; it takes either a fortnight of studying or a barrel trained on your forehead to get a point through that skull of yours. What sort of dream-world are you always lost in?

**Stronger**

You keep calling us rivals and you keep calling me strong. If you really want to show me some respect, when are you going to get stronger and make this rivalry something for me to worry about?

**Friendlier**

I don't have many friends, Kaede, and even less who probably aren't out to stab me in the back one day, but aren't you the one with nothing but fake smiles?

**Prettier**

Kaede…You have a nicer body than I do and you pay attention to take better care of it than me. When are you going to stop that horrible smile?

**Braver**

To practice for battle but never seek one; to be a shinobi without anyone to guard at the expense of your life, what is the purpose of your skill, Kaede? Are you too weak to know where you stand?

**Guiltier**

Kaede ran away from her home – I was removed at gunpoint.

**Lonelier**

Someone like Kaede will always be welcome among a circle of friends. Someone like myself doesn't have such friends to speak of.

**Colder**

I kill because I am a mercenary, and money is as vital to us as blood. You kill to protect people you lie to on a daily basis. At least I'm realistic.

**Messier**

You always send out those clones of yours to fight your battles for you. Do you know what it's like to drive a combat knife into someone's chest?

**Softer**

Your hands are rough from hauling wood in your training and your feet are hard from running up mountains all the time. The feel of my skin against the gun is still as gentle as the first time.

**Warmer**

When I sweep the shrine courtyard and place a few coins in the offertory box, the shrine maidens always remind me that the children have asked how I am. I'm not like you; I'm not lying when I say "fine."

**Holier**

I kill, I burn, and I've left more than enough of a mark in this world to call me evil, but I don't claim to be a saint. How do you still call yourself one of the heroes with a life like this?

**Cleaner**

Your clothes stink of sweat and blood and from all those who have been quick enough to catch you before you can jump away. With this cold, stainless steel, I have no smell, no stain, and nothing to clean after my kill.

**Manlier**

Even if you stand out in a crowd, you make a much better girl than I do. If you ever make fun of me for that, it'll be the barrel of my gun you'll have to answer to.

**Calmer**

Even in the worst battle, I've never flinched in the face of danger. Anyone can tell from the way you scramble around the battlefield that you're terrified of losing somebody.

**Drunker**

You're just another goofy girl; you've got nothing for alcohol tolerance. I don't drink very often, but when I do, it's ten times more than it would take to floor you.

**Worldlier**

Nobody calls me a hero like they do for you, but the marks I've left will linger on long after I'm death. How deep is your footprint in this world, Kaede?

**Bolder**

It's sometimes funny the way you dress for battle, Kaede. You could move so much better if you weren't making such an effort to cover your modesty. Why bother; dead men tell no tales, after all.

**Needier**

You always find such simple reasons to smile, Kaede. I can't remember the last time anything simple felt even a little good.

**Hungrier**

I'm not like you, Kaede, I can't run faster than an automobile or survive falling off a cliff. I need to eat and drink almost constantly to match your energy.

**Crazier**

Kaede is always so linear; she does what she needs to and then returns to whatever she was doing before hand. My war ended a long time ago, but I'm still running around with these guns…

**Funnier**

You're just a mess, Kaede.At least my humor has tact, even if it is a little dark.

**Sexier**

Tall, academically challenged, and always with a stupid smile stuck to your face, sometimes I can't understand why you've got her thinking about you constantly.

**Safer**

You'll never be able to protect everyone, Kaede. I will accomplish my mission – I will protect my charge – while you'll fail, and then who is going to save them?

**Hastier**

You're not a rushed person, you're just always forgetting your deadlines. You don't know what it means to rush until you've had to outpace a thirty-second timer.

**Poorer**

You don't work, you don't save, and you definitely don't spend money on yourself. How ironic is it that every fortune I make just goes into paying off the equipment for the next mission.

**Greedier**

I live for money and I'll take just about any mission if enough of it is put on the table. How bad is it that the thing I want most doesn't have a pricetag, but I'd still do anything to get it?

**Closer**

They say to keep your friends close, but to keep your enemies closer. If the closet thing to you I can be is your nemesis, then until the day I die, you will never escape me.

**Lesser**

If I could just change the way that I am even a little, I might be able to someday have Kaede-chan all to myself. I'll never have the strength to go against all I've become, and as punishment for being so weak, I'll never be allowed that chance.


End file.
